ENUMERATIONS AND ADDITIONS

[A discussion between siblings about becoming a revolutionary.]

-Why are all of your heroes people who went and got themselves

SHOT or something -GANdhi, Martin Luther KING, Benito AQUIno...

-Why do YOU always concentrate on the PERsonal side of

everything, instead of the SOCial or the SPIRitual?

-You've GOT to be KIDDing. SOcial I can see, but SPIRitual?!

Just look at these three I MENTioned: an AGitator, a cruSAder,

and a COMMunist!

-You are focussing on POlitics, not essENtials.

-Kind of hard NOT to, in THEIR case, ISn't it! After ALL,

these guys WERE all poliTIcians, when you get right DOWN to it.

-Sometimes the MEANS are justified by the ENDS.

-Now THERE's a clever answer! So, you've been routing around

in "Mein KAMPF" again! And who is to say exactly WHEN that's the

case?

-ANYone can see that in SOME circumstances, you simply have to

DO what needs to be DONE.

-Sounds like the same old circle to ME! NAME some of these

"OBvious CIRcumstances".

-Now YOU're the one who is saying that they are "OBvious".

-Well, ARE they or NOT?

-I suppose it depends on the obSERver.

-I'm STILL waiting for eXAmples.

-EXAmples? How about NAtion-wide dePREssion, FOreign occuPAtion, BLOOD-thirsty DICtatorship, Ruthless exploiTAtion...

-Son-of-GUN, to hear you talk, it would seem you actually KNOW about these things from exPERience!

-I can READ, can't I? And TALK with people? And even TRAvel a little bit, to see a thing or two with my own EYES?

-And watch HOURS of TElevision. You can't believe Everything you hear, you know.

-And you can't believe everything you DON't hear, either.

-What's THAT supposed to mean?

-Even though the media don't MENTION certain things, they still HAPPen, and they can be worse than the things that the media DO report.

-NOW you sound PARanoid. Have you been reading George ORWell lately?

-Umm... How did you KNOW?

-Never mind. I still want to hear some examples of when it's all right to "DO what needs to be DONE".

-I already TOLD you.

-That was just RHEtoric. Give me some "speCIfic examples.

-If I DO, I KNOW how you'll reACT.

-Right, first I'll call the THOUGHT-police, then I'll tell Mom and DAD, and just for good measure, I'll send a LETTer to the EDitor, to warn the popuLAtion.

-Right, VEry funny. Just for THAT, I think I WILL tell you AFter all.

-Uh-oh, I'm SCARED. Is that a THREAT or a PROmise?

-Alright then, "just for THAT", as you say, I WON'T tell you -you'll have to WAIT and SEE. And THAT'S a PROmise.

-Good GRIEF, NOW what have I started?! "WAIT and SEE" WHAT? You're NOT going to commit some DESperate ACT, just to PROVE a POINT to a SKEptical SIbling, are you?!

-EAsy, EAsy does it. To keep THIS promise, I don't have to do a THING. EVENTS will speak louder than WORDS.

-If THAT'S all you've got in the line of PROPHecies today, I think I'll drop in again toMORrow. Who knows, maybe you'll have something a little FRESHer in stock.

-There are several snide insinuAtions in that last remark which I will gladly forGET as soon as you see the LIGHT.

-E-GADS, your fever HAS gone up! Would you like something reFRESHing? A nice cool glass of Motor-oil, perhaps?

-Motor-mouth yourSELF, you knock-kneed philisTINE!!

-No need to get your FEAthers ruffled, you POMpous TURD!!

-Okay, oKAY! EAsy, take it EAsy. I THOroughly understand your reSENTment at this point. As Einstein said, "Mighty MINDS have MAny times MET with moMENtous oppoSItion from MEDiocre..." something or another.

-He NEver said that!! And I'll bet he never said anything LIKE that!! I'll bet he never even THOUGHT anything as silly as that!!

-Well, JUST because he was GERman doesn't mean that he COULDn't have, all the SAME.

-ALright, FINE, FINE, AS you WISH. Have it YOUR way. I will conTENT myself with your VULgar little allusions to the quality of my MIND and so on... I gather that you have NO intention of letting me know what you are ACTually planning to DO.

-I'll LEvel with you, I don't plan to actually DO ANything whatsoEVer.

-I SEE. You're waiting smugly for some world eVENT to PROVE you RIGHT -although I STILL don't know about WHAT.

-Nothing TRIvial, I aSSURE you. That's ALL I can say NOW.

-Can't you at LEAST give me a HINT?

-You DIDn't say "PLEASE".

-"PL-EA-SE..."

-"Pretty-please-with-sugar-on-it?"

-You're REAlly PUshing it, my little friend.

-FINE, FINE, COMPromise, then? The answer is to be found in the mystical prose of St. JOHN of GRIsham.

-You mean that CHAracter who writes all the AIRport PAperbacks??!

-I am deLIGHTed to learn that our life together is having SOME influence on your BREEDing. READ right HERE, where I've used a HIGH-lighter. A-A-HEM, YES then. "And thus spoke the little TEN-year-old protagonist to his anxious lawyer:..." What IS this?!!

-Do you WANT to see the LIGHT or NOT?

-This is IDiocy!

-You should know BEtter by now than to waste your energy making LEft-handed little comments like that. Go on, CALL me an idiot, if it'll make you feel better!

-You DON'T have to take everything so PERsonally. I mean, LOOK at what you just stuck under my NOSE -this is LUdicrous!

-It is aPPARently nothing more than a STRAIGHTforward ACtion novel.

-And "what's this TEN-year old doing, talking to his LAWyer! GIVE me a BREAK, already!!

-Your indigNAtion simply PROVES my POINT -namely that you AREN'T as impermeable to REAson and common SENSE as it would aPPEAR.

-Oh, Is that SO?! I feel better alREADY!

-You just MIGHT be able to "READ between the LINES" and disCOver the TRUTH by yourSELF.

-HO-O-Oly SMOKES, do YOU MEAN that YOU THINK that I'M going to JOIN your LUNatic-fringe LITerary club, and-

-JUST READ the QUOTE. NO-one has the POwer to conVERT ANyone. I may ONly be your GUIDE. We shall SEE what we shall SEE.

-CHOKE me with a SHOvel! Why couldn't I just STAY in my ROOM and do my ENGlish homework?! But NO, I HAD to come down HERE for a piece of CARob CAKE, and get caught up in a LOOny-tune conversation with YOU!

-JUST - READ - the QUOTE. ReLAX your MIND. SusPEND your PREjudices. Think of HaWAii.

-HaWAii?! I've never even BEEN there!

-Okay, I don't know why I thought of HaWAii, exactly,

-Must be SUN-spots.

-Hmm... POSSibly! ANyway, don't think about ANything. READ now.

-How did I get into this again?! Alright, HERE goes: "I saw a movie once in which the hero was a really ugly guy who betrayed the MOB just so that the FBI would give him a new NAME, a new HOME, and a new FACE. After the plastic SURgery, he looked like a MOVie star. Finally the BAD guys caught UP with him, and they gave him anOTher new face." Can't you EVer be serious??!

-I am DEAD serious, if I may say so. EVerything in this book is coming true, but I am the only one to date -besides St.GRIsham himSELF, of course to REalize it.

-And how is it that only YOU have been privileged with this insight?!

-SIMple. St. GRIsham is LEFT-handed.

-Run that by me again!??

-BAsically, St. GRIsham is a social VISionary, not a Literary figure. The public in its IGnorance just THINKS that it's buying millions of his NOvels.

-Which are actually SEcret MESSages to a HAND-full of enLIGHTened ones...

-PreCISEly. Like a MESSage in a BOttle. "You know, you DO show some promise AFter all.

-Forgive me for being DENSE...

-Although by NO means as dense as USual...

-Yes, QUITE so, THANK-you. But could you BACK-track just a little? I mean, to the part about his left-HANDedness?

-OH, well of COURSE! ST. GRIsham's supposed "NOvels" are, in FACT, highly accurate and reVEAling PROphecies, which only I and a chosen few OTHers have PENetrated.

-I SEE, YES, RAther like NostraDAmus and Plastique BertRAND.

-Plastique WHO?

-Umm... SOrry, I MUST have been disTRACTed. DO go on.

-RIGHT. Now, the REAson people don't NOtice the eVENTS which are exPLIcitly PROphesied in these novels is because everything is told BACKwards...

-Are you SURE I can't get you something!

-...and THAT'S because ST. GRIsham just sort of PASTES and PATCHes his ideas toGEther, STRINGing them aLONG, as it were...

-...And the whole thing turns into a sort of monster SCRAP-book, which his agent STEALS from him and gives to a SECretary to type UP. I can SEE it ALL.

-You... you CAN'T!

-But I CAN, I CAN! Since he is left-HANDed, and he always flips the pages of his SCRAP-book from the END to the beGINNing, all of his little notes and PROPHecies go into the SCRAP-book

more or less BACKwards.

-I... I thought I was the only person in all of civiliSAtion to have picked UP on that... NO! I STILL can't believe you figured all that out! I must talk in my SLEEP or something!

-Not at ALL, but you DO grind your TEETH. You're going to have to SEE someone about that. ANyway, the CLUCKS who copy down his NOTES still haven't caught ON that they're going back-to-FRONT.

-I don't beLIEVE it, I don'T beLIEVE it!! And have you REACHED the INNer MEANING?!

-I haven't REACHED much of ANything, I was simply telling you what I KNEW, which was practically NOthing.

-And HOW?

-EAsy. I didn't just read the crazy QUOTE, I ALso saw the little NOTES you made in inVISible INK on the back COver.

-WHAT- you little CHARlatan, you were LEADing me ON!!!

-HAVE no FEAR! Your SEcret is SAFE with ME. I have NO intention of going around LECTuring people about world aFFAIRS or trying to get them to read St. GRIsham BACKwards or standing on their HEADS or whatever.

-I CAN'T underSTAND it... I was SO SURE... You had me comPLETely FOOLED...

-Well, SHUCKS! Weirder things have HAPPened!

-And the INK! The suPPLIer aSSURED me that you could ONly see it with special GLASSes.

-Which YOU wear all of the TIME, I notice. THAT would explain why you never NOticed that ANyone can see. Unless you got your inVIsible INK mixed up with the HIGH-lighter -who KNOWS in YOUR case.

-NOW I'm going to have to NOtify the BROTHerhood!

-Aw, to HELL with it! Don't get anybody all worked up for MY sake. I won't tell -not even Mom and DAD.

-Do you PROmise?

-WELL... I suppose I COULD be enTICED...

-And what does THAT mean? What do you have in MIND?

-For INStance, if you were to have a spell of amNEsia about that SCRATCH in the FENder from our little JAUNT yesterday...

-DONE. I JUST forGOT that you ALmost drove into the front DOOR of the MEtro and that you were SO SCARED that you SCREAMED like a PIG being SLAUGHTered.

-You'll forGET all about the near-ACCident -and the TICket?

-WHAT accident? WHOSE ticket?

-EXcellent. And that unFORtunate little incident with the Vice-PRINcipal day before yesterday...

-HEY, DON'T get GREEdy now!!

-SPEAKing of GREED, WHERE'S that piece of CArob CAKE Mom put away yesterday?

-You just stay RIGHT THERE -I'LL get it for you!