[A desperate young motorist enters a lonesome country garage.]
A-You aren't a mechanic, are you?
B-I certainly AM. What can I do for YOU, young fellow?
A-Er- well, I guess you accept American DisTRESS, don't you?
B-That's the card from American MOtor Menaces, isn't it.
A-Yes, that's it. The AMM said that almost all of the garages out here are affiliated members.
B-Well, I suppose most of us ARE, as a matter of fact. It's the best way of staying informed, and a good mechanic these days can never be too inFORMED, CAN he?
A-Right. Well anyway, I've got one of these Filipino imports, a '92 Natzoreddy. You've got parts for a Natzoreddy, don't you?
B-I guess you think we're just a little country gaRAGE, DON'T you?
A-No, no! I didn't mean anything of the SORT. After all, even in TOWN, they often have to order FAN-belts and MANifolds and other little things-
B-So you figured that out here in the COUNtry, you'd be SURE to have trouble finding parts.
A-So I guess that means you DON't have the right parts, DO you.
B-Maybe I DO, and maybe I DON'T.
A-I SAY, you're being a bit SENsitive, aren't you? Besides, I wouldn't have bothered to come into your garage if I hadn't thought that you could HELP, now, would I!
B-I can tell we're going to get along just FINE, young fellow. Nooo-sir-ee, there's no sense in being SENsitive, IS there! That's what I always say. So where's your four-WHEEler?
A-Do you see the yellow HATCH-back over in the GROcery-store PARking-lot?
B-HEAven's to BEtsy and SON-of-a-GUN! You don't mean the one next to the main DOOR, do you?
A-Yes, I'm afraid so. Fortunately, I was able to put the fire out by myself. [THEY WALK OVER TO IT.]
B-So you've had a rather special VIsit here, haven't you!
A-Yes, it HAS been sort of busy so far. But I'm sure it's just a minor problem -I mean, from YOUR point of view.
B-Well, that's what we'll see just NOW, WON't we!
A-All right then, let's walk over, shall we? You can take a look.
B-Holy SMOKES! Look at the MIleage! You've been to the MOON and back, HAVEn't you!
A-No, not REAlly, the oDOmeter has only been around once or twice, at least as far as I know. You can tow her IN, can't you?
B-Oh sure, THAT's no problem. I'm just wondering if you can afford to have yourSELF towed all the way back HOME!
A-Why? What do you MEAN? SURely you can FIX it, can't you?
B-Take a look at this thing over here on the ground. You know what THAT's called, don't you?
A-Ah... well... it's a part of the MOtor, I would say...
B-Hmm... You aren't much for meCHAnics, ARE you! That's what's left of your disTRIbutor cap.
A-No, I'm not much of a meCHANic, AM I! Anyway, as they say, "Let the COBbler stick to his LAST."
B-His last WHAT?
A-Oh, I don't know, it's just one of those expressions my mother used to use.
B-Say, you aren't from the "OLD Country"10, are you?
A-Who, ME? No, THAT would be my FOLKS on my MOTher's side10 -but then, it depends on what you mean by the "OLD Country".
B-Wait, LET me GUESS -POLand? LATvia? UkRAINE?
A-No, no, and no, respectively, but you're pretty darn CLOSE!
B-I've GOT it. LithuANia! Or else I'll EAT my HAT!
A-You have a pretty strong STOmach, DON't you!
B-Aw, shucks, ALright, I give up. Where ARE38 your people from, young fellow?
A-You ALmost had it. My MOther's family is spread out over ALL those places you mentioned. My Dad's a citizen of the world. Don't even ASK where HE comes from.
B-Well, I'll BE. So, you want me to tow her IN, do you37?
A-If you think anything can be DONE. By the way, how did you GUESS30? I mean, about the "OLD Country"?
B-It must have been what you said about the "COBbler and his LAST". The last time I heard THAT expression was a long time ago, and I didn't hear it in ENGlish!
A-So YOU're from the "OLD Country" TOO, are you?
B-Don't get me started on MY family history, or else we could be out here until after DARK!
A-Oh yes -I mean, OH NO!! That's RIGHT! I was supposed to meet JUlie!!
B-"JULie" is it now, eh? You see? You don't want to miss your apPOIntment, now, do you?
A-I GUESS I'll have to leave the car in your LOT and take a TAxi.
B-The closest TAxi company is MILES from here, in the next TOWN.
A-But- but JUlie! What about JUlie -what will I DO?!
B-If you just wait around HERE for about another hour or so, you can ride into town with my NIECE, LudMILLA.
A-Oh, do you THINK so? Only -I, er- um, I don't know whether I- AhEM! ...LudMILLa, is it?
B-You DO want to get there on TIME, don't you?